A Hero's Tale
by Death Destructon Daleks n cake
Summary: A tale of four kingdoms, twenty-seven heroes of varying caliber, a cruel king, magic, heroism, love,destiny, death, and an overall lack of one blue page. NOTE: HUMANSTUCK,MEDEIVELSTUCK, SAME-SEX RELATIONSHIPS, A JUST CHARACTER DEATH, LANGUAGE. Helpfully narrated by the two bards, who were oh so kind. -DDDNC
1. Of John, Rose, Jade, and Dave

"OnCe UpOn A tIme In A lAnD oF fOuR mOtHeRfUcKiNg KiNgDoMs," Sang a purple garbed bard.

"Livwed the most ruthless king for shore."Sang his gold garbed companion.

"hIs NaMe SpReAd FeAr ThRoUgH mAnY's HeArTs."

"And he vwas known as Caliborn."

* * *

The bards fade away and a young boy stands talking to his friend in the center of the village.

"I know it's what my Dad wants, but I just don't want to be a farmer, Rose. It's just" He paused for the words. "not right. What should I do?"

"You should go off on a quest to seek your fortune. Those always seem to work." She advised her friend. "I understand what you mean John. Farming is really boring."

"Why do _you_ stay around then? _You_could've left this pathetic little town long ago." He smiled his dorky smile, and she sighed.

"A friend, a really close friend of mine, lives here. They're why I'm still here."

"Is it me?" He asked enthusiastically, smiling broadly.

"Sorry, it isn't you." She patted his head again. "Anyway, I suggest you prepare. To go off fortune-seeking and all."

John smiled and ran off to pack. Maybe he'd turn out to be a great hero, like in the stories of old! Maybe he'd defeat the horrible Lord Caliborn. Who knew!

Rose smiled as her friend ran off enthusiastically. Heading back to her house she stared into the crystal ball and asked, "What will John become?"

"What he already is, a hero, and what he should've been: a king."

So John's the heir to Beanin, Rose thought. It's not too surprising. She went off to visit her friend, the local tailor and healer Kanaya.

* * *

"AnD sO jOhN sEt OuT oN hIs MoThErFuCkInG QuEsT."

"and wvery close yet far awvay,"

"a WiTcH wAs SeNtEnCeD tO tHe StAkE,"

"for crimes she didn't clamit.

* * *

Jade stared at the villagers as they brought the torch closer to the brush surrounding the stake she was currently tied to. They were seriously going to burn her! She tried once again to break her bonds, but had no such luck.

"Stop! I didn't make anyone sick! Just because I'm a witch doesn't make me bad! I'm a good witch, like Feferi! You know, the princess of Leona?"

"You are a witch, you used your powers on us, and you shall burn!" Retorted the crowd's lead.

"Weren't you listening?" asked another boy, who Jade didn't recognize. "She already told you she didn't do it."

"Who're you to say that?"

"A knight who is skilled with the very sharp sword he is holding."

The crowd backed off and the knight untied Jade from the stake.

"Thanks for saving me."

"No problem."

"I'm Jade. Is there anything I can do in return? You just saved my life."

"How about we negotiate away from the angry mob."

The two swiftly retreated to the village's outskirts. Jade smiled at her savior, the blond haired boy wore the perfect poker face, untouched by emotion.

"Dave."

"What?"

"I'm Dave. Now, about the price for saving you."

"I'll do anything. I don't have a lot of money but I am a skilled witch and-"He cut her off swiftly.

"Come with me."

"What?"

"Come with me, see the world, all four kingdoms."

"Sure."

* * *

"sO tHe BrAvE dUo StArTeD tHeIr MoThErFuCkInG qUeSt."

"and John prepared to start his owvn."

"He LeFt As ThE mOtHeRfUcKiNg sUn RoSe."

"and said goodbye to no one."

* * *

John traveled through the land, stopping in towns occasional. He was heading ever so slowly to the capitol, where he was fairly sure fortune could be found.

After a few days of travel he met up with two other journeyers. Well, actually he spotted the two, and still hadn't decided to talk to them. Eventually he fell awkwardly out of his hiding spot and rolled roughly right to where the two were sitting. The boy stared at him blankly and the girl smiled.

"Hi, I'm Jade!" she said, smiling a bucktoothed smile.

"John. Um, sorry about, falling in on you."

"Nice to meet you John. The rude dude here is Dave. So, what're you doing out here in the middle of nowhere?"

"I'm out seeking my fortune!" He said, smiling." I didn't wan't to be a farmer like my dad, so my friend suggested I do this."

"Cool. Dave here saved me from being burned at a stake so I promised to go adventuring with him." Dave nodded in confirmation.

"Can I join up with you for a while? I'm a little lost."

"Sure." John was startled asfor the first time Dave spoke. "You can come."

* * *

"AnD sO tHe DuO bEcAmE a TrIo."

"and continued their joined quest."

"AnD nOw, A wOrD fRoM oUr MoThErFuCkInG aUtHoR."

"wvho reely is the best."

* * *

dddnc:So yeah. I made an AU.  
1:They're all humans  
2:It's in a medievel setting  
3:They _probably_ don't even know their friends  
4:Magic is real  
5:Calliope's a goddess  
Thanks to the bards for narrating!  
The four kingdoms:  
Beanin:Ruled by Lord Caliborn.  
Cecela:Ruled by Prince Zahak's regent  
Leona:Ruled by Feferi, a good witch  
Madini: Ruled by a king with _several_ wives and many princes who will fight fo the throne.  
Hope you enjoy!  
dddnc out


	2. Of Latula, Terezi, Karkat, and Mituna

"As OuR fAtEd TrIo JoUrNeYeD tHrOuGh MoThErFuCkInG bEaNiN," Sang Gamzee, the purple bard.

"our vwiew changes once again" Sang his partner in crime song, Cronos.

"tO a MoThErFuCkInG cEcElAn LaDy KnIgHt,"

"and her little sister"

* * *

"L4TUUUUL4!" Whined a blind nine year old. She had just been forced of the horse by her older sister.

"Look, 'r3z1, you'r3 a r34lly r4d k1d, but M1tun4 4nd 1 gott4 go on th1s qu3st, w3'll b3 b4ck soon, so s1t t1ght 4nd ch1ll w1th K4nkr1's cuz." Her sister replied, smiling toothily. She rode off to meet with her boyfriend and search for his lost little brother.

Terezi, a little confused, knocked on the door of the house her sistr had dropped her off at.

"What the fuck do you want."

"4r3 you K4nkr1's l4m34ss cous1n?"

"Why do you want to know? Interested in talking to the fucktard?"

"No, 1'm st4y1ng w1th you." She ppointed to herself. "T3r3z1."

"Karkat. What the fuck do you mean? You're staying with me? Oh shit." He slammed the door.

"'Tul4 told m3 to. Plus, you tot4lly a4r3n't l4m3 l1k3 your cous1n, K4rkl3s."

Karkat finally let her in, and eventually, the two swapped stories, about how Karkat was going to be a knight, how Latula already was, how Terezi was a seer and Kankri's mysterious dissapearance. Over the months he blind girl stayed with him, Karkat slowly became attached to her. Terezi called the two of them 'Bestest Friends Ever'.

One day, a group of heavily armored men came to Karkat's house. Demanding to see "The Seer Terezi" he made a futile attempt to stop them. The last he saw of his best friend was through his blood covered eyes as she was dragged off towards Beanin's capitol, and Caliborn's stronghold.

* * *

"So KaRbRo TrAiNeD aS a MoThErFuCkInG kNiGhT."

"and it took sevweral years"

"wHiLe LaTuLa, IgNoRaNt Of HeR sIs' FaTe,"

"and really h-continued her quest with mituna"

* * *

Latula entered the hut where Aranea was treating Mituna. Her boyfriend lay unconcious on the cot, shifting restlessly as if in a nightmare.

"Yo, 4r4n34, how's my bro do1n?"

"Good news and 8ad news."

"wh4t's th3 b4d?"

"He can't 8e cured."

"Good?"

"I know why he's like this."

"So! My fuck1n bro's dy1ng, 1 don't g1ve a 'bout th3 c4us3 gurl!"

"He isn't dying, technically."

"Th3n wh4t 1s h3 do1ng?"

"Turning in to the next ruler of the underworld.

"No w4y gurl. H1s p4r3nt's 4r3 4s norm4l 4s sh1t! 4nd th3r3's no w4y h3's 4dopt3d."

"8ecoming a ruler of the underworld isn't hereditary. Your 8oyfriend's just unlucky."

"C4n 1 do 4nyth1ng?!"

"You can go down with him."

* * *

"So LaTuLa WeNt DoWn To ThE uNdErWoRlD,"

"to sawve the lover she vwas far to good for"

"wHiLe OuR lEgEnDaRy TaLe,"

"goes back to that glubbin trio"

* * *

Dave crawled ahead of his two companions, the compitent yet clumsy witch and the entirely useless farmboy who'd joined them. He heard footsteps and paused, listening. John on the other hand jumped up to get a better look.

"Hey guys look at-" Jade's glowing green magic (0,255,0) blocked his mouth so that he wouldn't yelland give away their position.

"What did you see?"

"Some of Caliborn's soldiers dragging someone. It looked a whole lot like my friend Rose."

"Why would they want your friend?"

"She's kinda a Seer."

Jade eyed Dave, who nodded. Simultaneously, the two jumped up and started to attack the armed gaurds. John, being the useless farmboy that he is, sat stunned doing jack shit. In the end, an unconcious Rose sat between the three of them. Dave poked her, except in a really cool and ironic way.

"Rose?! Wake up!" John semi-shouted. Her eyes slowly opened.

"Thanks." She told Dave and Jade who respectvely nodded and smiled brightly. "John."

"Rose!"

"John, I have something important to tell you."

"What?"

"Your fortune-seeking quest. Turns out that you are the heir to the true throne of Beanin."

"Really! Awesome!"

"The heir? Who'd of guessed." Jade muttered.

"Congratulations, derpface."

"Hey Dave?"

"yes."

"Can you teach me how to fight like you?"

"Need a weapon first."

Jade, blinking rapidly, summoned a brightly colored hammer. On it read a note saying:  
Give To The True Heir Of Beanin.  
John accepted the hammer, and Dave reluctantly started tp train him.

* * *

"So ThE tRiO bEcAmE a TeAm."

"armed vwith mystic vweapons"

"NoW hErE iS tHe AuThOr,"

"of this vwonderful tail"

* * *

dddnc:Thanks guys!  
Alright recap:  
John is the Beanin heir, seeking his fortune with Rose the Seer, Sir Dave, and Jade the Witch.  
Terezi was kidnaped for her seer powers, and Karkat is currently heading to save her as an awesome knight.  
Mituna's the ruler of the underworld, and Latula's going down to help him.  
Aranea, Kanaya, Caliborn, and Feferi exist.  
11 heroes, 1 villain, 2 narrators, 1 author.  
Thanks again to the bards.  
Also, disclaimer:I NO OWN HOMESTUCK  
-dddnc out-


	3. Of Nepeta, Rufioh, Meulin, and Kurloz

"sO, kArBrO, a MoThErFuCkInG kNiGhT oF cEcElA,"

"wvent of to find his friend"

"bUt As He TrAvElEd ThRoUgH tHe FoReSt,"

"the unexpected happened."

":33*ac points her claws at the victem* Paws in the air!"

"Why the fuck should I, a knight, surrender to you retarded douchebags?"

":]]*ac smirks triumphantly* because we have you out armed and out numbered. Paw over all your purrecious items!"

"Talk likee a fucking normal person, retarded crazy cat girl. I won't give you anything!"

" dON'T CALL NEPETA RETARDED!" called out another, with a red mowhak. "tHE MERRY SHIPPERS DEMAND THAT YOU HAND OVER ALL YOUR, uH, vALUABLES!"

"The merry shippers? Really? Shitty title for a bunch of fuckass bandits."

":OO*ac is shocked into outrage* we aren't bandits! We're Rouges!"

"yEAH! rOUGES WHO STEAL AND GIVE TO THE POOREST TOWNS! nOW HAND OVER YOUR STUFF!"

"Look, as much as I'd love playing with you morons, I've got to save my friend from Caliborn's castle."

":DD*ac comes up with a brilliant idea* Listen, I help you break into the Castle, you protect me from the gaurds, I get the treasury money, you get your girlfriend, we're all happy!"

"Seems all right-Wait! REZI IS NOT MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND!"

":33*ac smiles* Rufioh's in charge efuryone! S33 you later!"

"So NePeTa AnD kArBrO lEfT, tHe GeNiUs MoThErFuCkErS"

"and headed off towvards caliborn's castle"

"aT a CaVe MoUtH iN mOtHeRfUcKiNg LeOnA,"

"latula entered, follovwing her retard boyfriend"

"Just keep walking straight, take rright turns only, go down, and when you reach the river say 'I am here to see the new king.'" Aranea instructed Latula who nodded.

"S33 y4, gurl."

"The Cecalan knight walked down the cave for miles until she reached a cavern with a river running straight through it. Several ghosty, ominous looking shadow people stared at her.

"1'm h3r3 to s33 th3 n3w k1ng," She called out to the river, which suddenly grew an elegant golden bridge, and a red carpet trail appeared ou of the ground.

Eventually, she was lead to a shadowy catle that towered over the land. Instead of heading through the front gate, her regal trail lead to a back entrance, which came out behind a tapestry in a stone room. Inside, dressed in bright yellow, was Mituna.

"M1tun4! Bro-ffr13nd, 4r3 yu 4ll r1ght?"

"L47UL4! Y34H 1'M 0K4Y 8U7 MY H34D R34LLY HUR75 4ND 1'M FR1K1N 5C4R3D 4ND WHY W3R3N'7 Y0U H3R3?!"

"Tun4! C4lm down bro, 1'm h3r3 now." She hugged him and the mildly insane boy calmed down.

"(=^ω^=) AREN'T YOU A PURRFECT COUPLE!"cried out the deaf girl peeking in. She was rather loud, as she was unable to measure her voice's volume. "(=^•ω•^=) HI I'M MEULIN, THE QUEEN! YOU MUST BE MITUNA!"

"h0w 7h3 h3ll d0 y0u kn0w my n4m3."

"Y34h gurl, why do y4 know my bro 1f you 41n't m3t h1m?"

"(=^-ω-^=) HEHEHE WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW. (=^ω^=) JUST 'S CUZ I'M THE WONDERFUL QUEEN! ANYWAY, I GOTTA TELL YOU GUYZ A SECRET. (=^. .^) kurloz,, the king, has been mind-controling the dead to help capricorn or eliborn or whatever."

"Wh4t?" asked Mituna, thoroughly enthralled in this new adventure. Maybe the rulers of the dead became stupider, Latula thought before quickly taking it back.

"(^•x•^)SO YEAH, SEE YOU LATER! GOTTA HEAD BACK FUR COURT."

The eccentric queen ran off towards the main hall, and Latula sat down on the bed, contemplating her strange quest, and wondering wether Terezi and Karkat were getting along.

"sO tHe MoThErFuCkErS pRePaReD fOr ThEiR mEeTiNg WiTh KuRlOz, ThE mUtE kInG."

"vwhile nepeta and karkat head toward the stronghold"

"wE fOcUs AgAiN oN oUr MoThErFuCkInG tEaM,"

"can I narrate a different storyline, about MEENAH or ARANEA or ANY OTHER REALLY HOT TROLL"

"nAw, MoThErFuCkEr, StIcK tO tHe ScRiPt :O)."

"fuck you actually lemme fu-"

Dave stopped his sword inches away from John's neck as the heir clumsily fumbled the atrociously bright hammer.

"Derpface, your dead. You really suck at fighting."

"I know! But I'm getting better, right?"John asked, concerned "Right?" He asked again when his sparring partneer didn't respond.

"…sure."

"Don't listen to him John, you're much better then before!"

"Thanks, uh, Jade."

"John, come over here for a moment." Called Rose, who had a detailed map in front of her.

"Yeah Rose?"

"When we finally instigate you as the ruler of Beanin, you may or may not get the backing of all the countries. Do you know anything about Cecela,leona, or Madini?"

"No."

"Alright."

"Seer, who's the current poll favorite as top prince of Madini?" asked Dave suddenly. Rose furrowed her eyebrows in thought.

"It's either Dirk or Eridan."

"Then I'm farely confident that derpface will be backed by Madini." Rose blinked not once, not twice, but three times consecutively.

"Aalright. Leona is no qquestions asked:They hate Caliborn. But Cecela. . .the regent is with Caliborn."

"So we've got to worry about them?"

"The prince isn't though, Equius. It'll be best if the both of you ascend to power at once.

"Okay. This political stuff is finally starting to make sense! I'm gonna go find some food now."

"JoHn WeNt OfF iN sEaRcH oF sOmE mOtHeRfUcKiNg FoOd."

"and cronos just sued the author to get more rights"

"YoU cAn TrY mOtHeRfUcKeR, bUt It WoN't WoRk."

"NoW hErE's DdDnC wItH aN aUtHoR's NoTe."  
dddnc:GOOD LUCK CRONOS I HOPE YOU FAIL-oh hi there.  
hope you enjoyed and thanks to ATMhomestuckstalker for the favorite!  
cool name bro/sis.  
so, the statistics:  
16(Counting Meenah) heroes, 2 villains, 1 narrator, 1 author, 1 holiday, 1 legal case,and 20/33 overall characters mentioned.  
I didn't want to seem rude earlier, but please review! I'm starting to get lonely.  
-dddnc out-


	4. Of Aradia, Equius, Sollux, and Calliope

"DeEp In ThE hEaRt Of CeCeLa."

"wvas the heir equius and his regent"

"We TuRn To OnE oF tHe MaIdS,"

"wvhy did I hawve to lose that lavwsuit"

* * *

Aradia was a simple maid who worked in the castle of the heir, Equius. Currently, she was preparing the set of rooms for the embassy from Leona, princess Feferi and her latest apprentice, a mage named Sollux. She waas startled when she heard the door open onto the room she was preparing.

"Thii2 ii2 the room ii 2hould be goiing to, riight?" Asked the lisping voice to his companion

"D- Yes, this is where you will stay for the duration of your visit." Aradia panicked that was Equius!

"Heir Equius, Mage S0llux, I ap0l0gize f0r my presence as I am running far later then I sh0uld be." She said in the response drilled into her despite her normal nature.

"D-It is fine, mage is retiring early."

Aradia bowed in her neat, efficient way, the same one she was always told to use in the presence of nobles and royalty. She continued fixing up the room which still had a visible coat of dust in some parts as Sollux sat down and started writing something, before turning to her.

"Thank2, but thii2 wiill be fiine," He pausedin question for her name.

"Aradia, Mage."

"AA, iit doe2n't have to be 4ll fancy and all, ii really don't care."

"Really?" Thank the g0ds, keeping that act up is s0 b0ring. I'm s0 glad y0u d0n't mind. But I'm alm0sy done anyway, so I'll leave s00n."

"Cool. 2o, what'2 Celena liike? ii've never actually been here before."

"I haven''t g0ne farther than the Capit0l in years. But Equius is nice when he's n0t putting up his act, and s0metimes the band 0f R0uges he h-" Aradia stopped talking immediately, and Sollux smiled.

"2orry, ju2t te2tiing out my newe2t 2p3ll. Make2 you an2wer any que2tiiion2 truthfully and exten2iively."

"Assh-Awes0me.I guess I'll see y0u ar0und."

"2ame."

* * *

"tHe LoVeStRuCk GiRl LeFt RaPiDlY."

"wvhile our heroic rhapdsody"

"tUrNs To ThE mOtHeRfUcKiNg TeAm."

"vwho arrivwe at a temple"

* * *

John stared at the magnificent marble ruins they stood in, and at the centerpiece: A beautiful statue of the goddes Calliope. Even in it's state of decay, you could still see the harp she held.

". . ." John stared wordlessly and Rose giggled.

"Wait until you see a fully operationsl one, then it's been painted, and you can see everything. It's beautiful." Rose told him, imagining of the days she had spent with her sister in Madini visiting such temples.

"How could they let the temple fall into disarray like this?" lamented Jade, who was overall used to seeing the simple templles custom in small villages.

"Caliborn despises Calliope." Dave added in.

"This is both breathtakingly beautiful and sad." John said. "When I become king, I'm going to restore all these temples, you know?"

"Cool!"

* * *

"ClOsE bY, a KnIgHt AnD rOuGe SeEk ShElTeR."

"and head for the ruined temple"

"sOrRiLy, ThEy'Re BeInG tRaCkEd,"

"guess vwhat a fight is scheduled"

* * *

The unsatiably happy Nepeta bounced happily along beside the tempermental knight. She whispered that they wee being followed under the gise of hugging

Karkat.

"Is this ruined temple of yours much fucking farther or should we just fucking wait here."

":33 *ac laughs* We're almost there Karkitty!"

"Oh joy, yet another fucking nickname."

":33 I think it suits yoou *ac points ahead excitedly* Look! There's a column."

"Oh joy, we're finally fucking here."

The two tripped over a sleeping John and Jade, who were lying in the middle of the ground. This woke Dave from his corner, and Rose smiled from her post that night as watcher.

"What the fuck! I thought you said this was a DESERTED temple!"

":(( *ac furowns* it is! barely anyone uses it as a base! How was I supposed to know?"

John and Jade's voices wedre added to the clamor until Dave, in a very loud voice, yelled, "Shut up!"

The gathered stared at him, and he sighed. "Behind you two morons is a squad of guards." Jade brought them forward with her magic.

"We knew that already, fucktard. We were coming here to give ourselves the advantage, but you four morons decided to come!"

":33 Why were you following us *ac interrogates the prisoners*"

"W-we were just following orders. You were suspicious crossing the border."

Karkat sighed an audible relief. "Come on Nepeta, let's leave these douches, I've gotta get to the stronghold soon, Terezi's been waiting for years now."

"Hey!" John says in his derpy voice. "Wwe're headed there too! 'm gonna kill Caliborn and become the new ruler of Beanin!"

":DD Really! *ac ponders the new data* Maybe you can join us!"

"Great idea!"

* * *

"So ThE tWo TeAmEd Up AgaInSt CoMmOn FoE,"

"and the bards decided to go on strike"

"wHile ThEy StAyEd ThE kNiGhT iN tHe TeMpLe,"

". . ."

* * *

dddnc:Cronos is being troublesome again.  
Thanks to person for the review, I fixed it to Cecela.  
also this is the first review for any story I've published, so confetti.  
so:  
20 heroes, 2 villians, 1 ½ narrators, 1 author, and 1 goddess, totalling 25/33 characters mentioned.  
Once again, please review, I am very lonely.  
-dddnc out-


	5. Of Caliborn, Kankri, Vriska, and Tavros

"DeEp In ThE uNdErWoRlD, iN a MoThErFuCkInG cOuRt,"

"stood latula and mituna, facing the king"

"GhOsTs DeAd FoR cEnTuRiEs WaTcHeD tHe AfFaIr,"

"as the retard put forth his claim to be king"

* * *

"1 4m 7h3 n3x7 k1ng 0f 7h3 und3rw0rld, 50 573p down. . .?"

". . ." Replied the mute king, before pulling up his middle finger to say 'fuck you'

"(^•o•^) KURLOZ! BE NICE! OUR TURN IS UP!"

Kurloz quickly entered a sign language argument with his wife, until she suddenly kissed him. Mituna and Latula turned away.

"Yo dogz, 1 know you'r3 m4rr13d 4n 4ll, but th1z iz g3tt1n r34lly d1sturb1n so c4n w3 l34ve or w1ll you st3p down 4lr34dy?!"

Kurloz signed to some ghostly translator, who said:"The king asks me to tell you that he will not stand down, ever."

"W3ll th15 15 4 pr0bl3m."Mituna said, before calling up to the king. "H3y k1ng dud3! 15 17 7ru3 y0u'v3 b33n m1ndc0n7r0ll1ng th3 gh0575 h3r3?"

All the court gasped in union at the remark, waiting for the king to reply. He signed rapidly to the translator.

"He says, So what? I already made it perfectly legal for the king to use the dead as an army, willingly or not."

"0hhh." Mituna stuttered in realization. "Bu7 1f you guy5 b4ck m3, 1 w0uld ch4ng3 th4t. Y0u guy5 d353rv3 r1gh75!" Mituna said in the newly feigned political voice.

The ghosts mulled over this for a while, before coming to a decision. "We shall hold . . . . . A public Election!"

Latula tried her hardest not to face palm over the ludricrisy of the situation. What in the world was an election?

* * *

"So WhIlE tHe GhOsTs PrEpArEd ThEiR mOtHeRfUcKiNg ElEcTiOn,"

"our team wvas joined by tvwo others"

"KaRbRo AnD nEpEtA, iF a LiTtLe UnWiLlInG,"

"joined the four on their quest"

* * *

"So why the fuck would we ever travel with you fuckasses?"

":33 *ac smiles at karkitty's childishness* For the same reason you teamed up with me and haven't already double crossed me!"

"Oh, you mean these four idiots will threaten my life like you? Or that they watch me sleep and can wake up at the slightest sound?"

":33 No, silly! Because it's easier, and more people get what they want fur less work! And neither I nor Rufioh threatened your life, silly!"

"Um, are you two joining us or not?" John called over to the arguing couple friends duo. They had already started to walk off.

":33 *ac grabs karkitty* We're coming!"

"Oh joy, I've joined a merry party of stupid fucking whatever-they're called."

"I believe the term you are looking for is 'adventurers'"

Jade laughed, Karkat scowled and the now six continued on their journey to Caliborn's castle.

* * *

"aT tHe PlAcE tHeY'd BeEn SeEkInG fOr So LonG"

"in a vwindowvless room locked and gaurded"

"sAt ThE sEeR tErEzI, bOrEd OuT oF hEr MiNd,"

"and drawving a candy red court scene"

* * *

Terezi leaned back in her chair andn narrated the brightly colered court scene where a demon of the same name accused a noble yellow dragin named Lemonsnout of some crime or another before sentencing him to be hanged. It was all quite fun, for someone locked in a toom with little contact besides deaf gaurds and a maniacal ruler.

"SEER!" Called out the vooice of said villain. "I PLAN TO ATTACK LEONA. SHOuLD I?"

Terezi remembered her latest advance, that would appear to happen unless he did athorough search of the surrounding area by his most powerful gaurds, and began to describe it, lying through her teeth about how it related to his question.

Caliborn stormed out in his childish manner as always, but still acting on this advice.

Terezi through her drawings at a wall and took off her red glasses, which were really just colored glass and no frame. She kicked a stone next to where she was now standing, and suddenly a secret passageway appeared.

"4w3som3!" She said, ducking through and crawling for a whole eight minutes before reaching the end and falling into a second room. Hopefully this one would be freedom and-"

"Terezi? Is that y9u?" Asked a voice she recognized.

"K4nkr1?" She said, startled. "But L4tul4 s41d you w3r3 d34d."

"Latula's alright? I was w9rried the s9ldiers had killed her after they took me. H9w is she?"

"1 wouldn't know, sh3 l3ft m3 w1th your cous1n to go of qu3st1ng w1th M1tun4."

"Karkat? Is he here? Where am I, anyway. After a while in the Calib9rn's castle, I was kn9cked out, and haven't talked to any9ne since."

"W3'r3 both 1n th3 c4stl3. H3 k1dn4pp3d m3 too."

"9h."

* * *

"As AkWaRd MoThErFuCkInG sIlEnCe CoNtInUeD,"

"in another castle far awvay"

"wAs A mEeTiNg Of RoYaLs,"

"met wvith bbad nevws"

* * *

Equius sat at a small, elegant table where he was talking to Feferi and Sollux, the two Leonan representatives. It was overall quite a pleasant, until a messenger rushed in, apologized, and quickly told the heir the message.

"We just spotted Vriska, sir. She was heading towards where Tavros, the recently crippled page, was riding." He said quickly.

"D Tavros? Excuse me princess, Sollux." He turned to the guard, walked a little bit out of the way, and continued to talk. "D Wasn't he the one who she semi-forced to work with her, and wasn't she the one who crippled him?"

"Yessir."

"D Get a squad out their now."

"Yessir."

* * *

"JuSt A lItTlE bIt LaTeR, cLoSe By,"

"rode the former page tavros"

"SoOn, ThE mOtHeRfUcKeR wAs CaUgHt By SuRpRiSe,"

"by the laughing wvoice of one spider-themed girl"

* * *

"Taaaaaaaavros! I found you!" Laughed a girl with messy hair and dressed plainly. She was perched up in a tree, and one of her eyes had seven pupils, in a ring of six surrounding the last.

"v-vRISKA?" He stuttered, surprised. "w-wHAT ARE YOU, uH, dOING HERE?"

"Finding you, toreadum8ass! You're gonna help me on my gr8est heist ever!"

"dO I HAVE A CHOICE?"

"Of course not, Tavros. Don't worry, it'll be just like old times. Minus your emotional capa8ility to walk, 8ut there're spells for that!"

The insane spider themed thief jumped in the air after piroueting of the branch she was sitting on and landed sitting down next to the page on the horse. Grabbing the reigns she rode off just as the squad of Cecelan gaurds arrived.

"Haha, losers!"

* * *

"So ThE kIdNaPpEr RoDe OfF iNtO tHe SuNsEt,"

"dragging along her victim and friend"

"NoW hErE iS tHe AuThOr,"

"signifying the chapter's end"

* * *

dddnc: good job cronos!  
Chip:Karezi is going to stay one of the main romances, don't worry! Also, I don't troll like hussie, only play elevator music when clowns die.  
A guest:Thanks, and that's actually where I came up with the entire story idea.  
And finally to my _dear, wonderful sister_ who reviewed under the _creative_ name of Guest, gave a _very_ in detail review, as well as _lots of excellent improvements_ to the storyline.  
Stats:23 heroes, 2 villains, 2 narrators, 1 author, 1 goddess, 1001/1000 clocks destroyed, 28/33 characters mentioned  
please review. or pm me. or favorite, follow, or do nothing. but I'd rather you do something.  
-dddnc out-


End file.
